welcome to the life of the anti emo-ist

hahahaha. i hate emo crap and guess what? i'm listening to that stupid craig david song. what's it called? ah fuck. i dunno. some rain outside my window. oh wait! it's called i just don't love you no more... i think. stupid. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. STOP STOP STOP!

i'm in cheryl's place right now. the little minions are playing blackjack behind me. christmas has been screwed. it'a been pathetic. it's been BORING. seriously. we fell asleep while trying to kill time. brilliant i tell you. oh well.

went cheekies on christmas. what an even better idea. ): spent the whole night freaking out cause i thought i was gonna get banged. uh oh. false alarm. THANK GOD!

friends are crap. no friends. no more friends. well. some of them anyway. i want new friends. nice new freiends. no more backstabbing please. hypocrites. sick sick sick.

i'm bored of blogging. ah whatever. new blog new blog. heh. eeeew. dun use the word heh. she does. yuck yuck yuck. well. ola then.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! my feet hurt. ): i wanna cry. i've been walking all day long along heeren. I HATE THOSE WHITE THINGAMAGIGS THAT THINK THEY'RE ALL ALMIGHTY!!!!! they are so rude. THEY KEEP TREATING ME LIKE A FRIGGIN DISEASE EVERYTIME I OFFER THEM A PAMPHLET! well excuuuuse me, i'm just doing my job.

i think i'm a mutant. my blood's green. well. at least i think it is. there's this green spot on my butt of my jeans. everyone thinks it's my period. well. if it is THEN I'M A MUTANT!!!!!! arghhhhhhhhhh.

i'm so tired. using smoothie;s lappie again. lala's outside having a smoke. bad girl. she never listens. smoking kills.

my throat's aching again. it hurts it hurts it hurts. i feel like stuffing a toilet brush down my throat. ):

she's a pain in my ass. yes. she makes me soooo mad. the end.

well well well. here i am. sitting at habour front well bastian gorges on his lunch. geez. lookslike evryone's getting a laptop nowadays. sheesh you should check out his lqaptop. it's so small i could, i could stuff it in my pocket. well. not really.

jitterbugs are setting in. it's grad night tmr. it's make it or break it day. why do i have this feeling nothing will go spiffy and that i might spend the last night with my friends crying. i dun want to. i want it to be good. i'm tired of fighting. so let them if they want to. i want out. so what if they destroy the supposedly best night of our school life, i'll just take it in and spend it with people who truly care.

i've been invited to go bungee jumping. ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY? i guess you are. but hey. it sounds like fun. let's see if i can bug my parents to sponser my death defying request. (:

what's it like being attached again? i dunno. maybe it'll work. maybe it won't. we'll see. i'm not too affected by it like how i was when i was with her. oh well. i'm willing to try again. but this time, i really dun want to get that emotionally attached. i might just end up one big emotional wreck again. fuck.

clubbing was fun that night. acting and dressing trashy sure has it's perks. (: haha. thanks chickas for a really swell time. let's do it again and pray that some hottie hits on us instead of some guy old enough to be our daddy or some bloke who's got two left feet. haha. but it was worth the laughs and experience.

i think bear's bored now. i should go keep him company. toodles!

you're such a BIG disappointment. i think you already know it. but as usual you don't care. i'm glad you've replaced me. i've never felt better. at least now i know what kinda friend you are. a fair weather one. haha. you are disgusting.

and then there's that other one. fun huh? POSER! i started it. you followed. ALL HAIL KRISTLE! THE MIGHTY TRENDSETTER! (: poor child. i guess you never had a proper identity.

dear mr teoh,
if you ever see this. which i hope you will. please don't be sad. there's no reason to be. students, just like friends come and go. you give them your life, your time, your care, your love. and in return. you get a dagger sticking out of your back. i made a mistake, i'm only human. but you see, they call themselves christians, catholics even. but you know what? they don't know how to forgive. so ignore these wretched souls. they don't deserve all your concern or help. leave them. maybe one day they'll realise how stupid, ungrateful and low they are.

grad night's even closer now! (: i really can't wait. today. we made plans to get our nails done in kovan! fun. haha.

you know. i really can't stand it when people you treat nice tend to be a bitch when someone complains bout you to them. these people need a life. no. they need a hug. sad emo people. kinda sad that she's losing her hair too. should recommend her to beijing 101. i heard it's good. wait wait. there's 2 of them. ahah! soryy. 2 of them. one's really pretty. such a pity her hai's falling. and the other. errr. she's not pretty. how do i describe her? let's be nice. she's apparently a punk.

spoil my grad night. i'll spoil your dress. don't dare me you useless bunch of 'children'. wahaha. yes. perfect name. couldn't have picked a better one.

today's bio paper was screwed. i'm gonna fail. oh well. chinese gone, art gone, science gone, humans gone. so kristle's gone.

oh well. not suprising anyway. i'm bound to be a goner. ciao.

birthday's coming! SUPER COOL! (: which means an endless amount of alcohol being poured down my throat and me lying in the middle of the road laughing like i'm high on ganja. wahahahaha! i can't wait. 18! say it with me now. e-i-g-h-t-e-e-n! like finally. but like i've told my friend. big deal. it's not like i haven't touched ciggies or liquoer before. ah heck.

grad night's coming. i'm gonna look so pretty. yes? (: YES! like soooo pretty. hahahaha. i'm so happy today. even though ah boy's blaring techno in the back ground. lots of lalalalalala going on right now.

ahahaha. i'm such a bloody mood swinger. currently. i can't be more happy with my life. 3 more papers. someone who loves me silly. family whom i can't live without and a bunch of close knit friends that i hope i'll never lose. (no one said they're from schhol. oops!)

bring on the booze and let me party my life away. i've waited too long for this. i wanna get out and away. thank you god!

lot's of stuff lined up one after the other. my sweet 18th, grad night, the anniversary, and christmas!!!!! :D :D :D did i tell you i love christmas?!!! YES YES YES I DO!

oh and winston. homestar is the man. thank you alisha for introducing him to me. oh. and you can go on rattling that i'm no potter fan lisha. i dun give a damn. i only worship draco malfoy. no other. toodles.

midway through the o's!!!! woo hoo. just 4 more papers to go and it's time to let my hair down and get completely wasted! (: i'm sorry. did i say hair? what hair. oh well. it's growing okie. grad night's coming. probably be the worst school event ever. it's supposed to be a night i won't forget. and trust me. it will be a night i won't forget. i wonder who i'll make cry for the last time?

once the exams are over. i guess i'll see who really makes an effort to stay in touch. i've actually given up that notion of trying to keep these present bunch of friends. i mean. if they can't be bothered. neither can i. i don't belong in class anymore. i just want out. away from all these hasstles and be around people i love. like old friends. and spend many a happy moment being cheerful and myself. i hate playing this game of charades. i must stop.

i like someone. and this person knows. which can either be good or bad thing. whichever. i'm keeping my fingers crossed. i should go now. i still have to make a long journey home. yes. i shall then.

hmmm. you know that feeling of being made use of again and again and again? not by one person but by multiple people. i do. or maybe paranoias acting up. yet again. i'm at nick's place now. and in need of the solace of a computer. i need someone to let out my frustrations to and not have a earful back in return. i'm glad no one comes here anymore. at least i still have some sort of privacy. i ditched the diary already. too much sad stuff in it to look back on.

she's got someone new. i heard. at first i just kept telling myself not to bother. but today something snapped. and all i wanted to do was yell and stomp around like a child again. but i can't do that apparently. i have to act my age, all 18 years of it. oh well. i shouldn't be stupid anyway. she's so stubborn, so insensitive and so... young? yea. she's young. i should go find someone older, wiser, someone more worth my time. well. that's what everybody says. hah. let me see you get over someone you love so fast. oh my god. did i say i love her? yea. i guess i do. but i don't want to. not anymore.

o levels are a mere 5 days away. i haven't touched my books at all. all hail the failure of the o's! i asked for it. hmmm. i'm more into dreaming bout all the partying i'll be doing after the exams. well. that's what i planned. let's see if it happens. rarely anything i plan happens. i'm more the heat of the moment person. being all impromptu. (:

you know. i feel better. a lot better. i think. stuff between the axis hasn't really been cleared up yet. and i guess it never will. pros and cons to it though. i just hope something like this doesn't happen again. maybe we won't be close again. but hey. at least they'll be around. i think. oh well. the saying time can heal all wounds? we'll wait and see then.

i think i owe gwen an apology. maybe i was too rash when i said those things. and i admit. my words can be pretty tactless and sharp when i don't think before speaking. I'M SORRY.

another huge apology is to alisha. of all people. i shouldn't have been so harsh on you. i guess i just wanted you to feel the hurt i did. i'm sorry lisha with all my heart. it's probably my biggest regret this year.

kwai fung. i thought we were close. close enough to overcome any obstacle. but i guessed wrong. but it was nice having you around while you were. thanks for everything. i'm sorry things haven't been working out for you. like you told me once. i'm here for you, i now say the same thing back. if it means anything to you.

sam. hmmm. i thought we were close too. but i guess i'm not as close to you as i held our friendship as close to me. but hey. we're still friends. i think. so we'll start from there. yup.

my birthday's coming. i really hope it goess well this year. yup. finally 18! (: i really hope the ogre will bend the rules for me now. i think i've waited a really long time for the final day where i finally get to savour absolute freedom.

grad night's coming! our one last night to shime. it can either be the best night of our lives or the worst. i'm crossing my fingers tight. i want this to be a night to remember that when we look back on it. all we can do is grin like an idiot.

callix. thanks hon. for everything. for listening. standing by me. and the most important, standing up for me! i may have done a lot of fucked upo things this year. but i thank god that you overlooked them and still stayed around when others didn't. i love you so much!

cordelia! haha. you're probably the most suprising of anybody i would have expected to be there for me! our relatuionship's so up and down. but thanks. i am eternally grateful. with our recnt bond of friendship blooming. i sure hope i get to keep you for a long long looong time! much love!

oh po po. i definitely haven't forgotten you. our friendship may have headed for a downturn last year but i'm glad it's cleared up now. thank you dear! (: love.

okie. nick's probably getting really bored. he just walked out of the room. i shouldn't hog the laptop for so long anyway. ciao!